Another Endoscopy, Ronan has had several this past year and we are remembered by all the doctors and nurses in the department. I like this because they pay him more attention than when we first started having them done. They seem more personal and listen better. They usually always go the same and for some reason they love to fill his endoscopy binder with the same repeat paperwork.
I'm not sure why they need 10 pieces of the same paper detailing his birth history. He was only born once, it never changes and it goes into the same binder every time. Nonetheless I filled it out again and we waited. The lady gave me a pager. I'm used to this at the children's hospital but they have never given me one at this hospital before. The pager had always been unnecessary because I usually wait in Ronan's room. The bad part was they never used it this time either so I forgot I had it all together and brought it home with me. Tomorrow will now entail a pager return trip.
The nurse came into Ronan's room to go over his procedure. The last thing she stated was "It looks like we're placing a PH probe today as well." I stopped retrieving the block Ronan had thrown on the floor and looked up. "No, he's not having a PH probe. They were supposed to cancel that." I detailed how his airway closed and he stopped breathing the last time he had one placed. "Well it says here in the order he's having one." " They were supposed to cancel that." A bit of annoyance was swelling in my chest. "We'll just have to see what the doctor wants." I knew becoming an enraged psycho mom wouldn't do Ronan any good so I took a deep breath and figured I'd talk to the doctor.
A few minutes later his Gi nurse came in (different from the previous nurse) "So Ronan is having a PH probe placed today." I took another deep breath and said "I was told that was cancelled because I didn't want it done unless he was being admitted because he stopped breathing last time." "Oh let me check." and he left. A short time later his GI came into the room and said "So today we are placing a PH probe and the people from tech will come talk to you." By this time I was holding back my annoyance and calmly explained to the doctor my concerns and if it was a necessary test I wanted him admitted.He looked through Ronan's chart. "Oh yeah his airway closed last time we placed one." "Yes." I said simply and thinking I thought I reiterated this several times to several people. I had the brief vision of Ronan coming out with the PH probe in place and what I would do. I knew I would have to be rational and not let my emotions win over. They took him back and I said one more time "No, PH probe right?" The nurse smiled and said "Nope. I'll let the tech know when he comes down. I have to talk to him anyway he's on my fantasy football team."
A half an hour later the doctor came to talk to me and told me everything went well. He was going to go ahead and recommend the reflux surgery to Ronan's surgeon. My heart sank. I wanted to be amendment about no reflux surgery like I was about the PH probe. But would that be wise. I'm lost in a sea of emotions over this surgery. As of now I have no peace one way or the other. What if I choose wrong... Ronan's therapists assured me whatever choice I made would be the right one because I know him best. As I said in the past all I can do is what I think is best with prayer and the information I have presented to me. That's all any mom can do.
When we got home his surgeon's receptionist called me. "We want to see Ronan on the 18th to go over him having reflux surgery." The way she said it it sounded like they assumed we were going ahead. I have far from decided and I think the answers I get to my questions at that appointment will determine it for me. This gives me two weeks to research on my own and hopefully I'll be ready to make the decision after talking to the surgeon.
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