After finishing Landon's school this morning I spent the rest of the morning trying to determine how I was supposed to compose my child observation paper. I have five children to choose from and I'm stumped as to which to pick. It's almost as though I feel like I'm being unfair to the other four children by not immortalizing their current development in a paper that will be read only by my professor. Even though I realize this reasoning is ridiculous I decided to determine some other way to choose which child. I asked Isaac. He told me to pick Landon because he's the oldest and can talk a lot more and I would get more information to ensure I had the required paper length.
I attempted to do the experiments of conservation where you show a child two glasses with the same amount of water in them. The child agrees they have the same amount then you pour one of the glasses into a tall thin glass so there is still the same amount of liquid. Then you ask the child which glass has more liquid. A child under the age of seven should not understand the law of conservation and should say that the tall thin one has more liquid. I tried this on Landon since he's five he should have said the taller one but he said "They have the same amount because you poured all the liquid from one glass and they were both the same." He did the same thing with the other two experiments and did not respond as he should for his development and the paper wants me to illustrate how a child under seven does not understand the law of conservation so now I'm back to square one of child picking.
I'm leaning towards Jadzia since she is smack in the middle. I think she's at the age that I can demonstrate all the levels of development I need to for the paper. After lunch it was time to take Jadzia to her 3 year check up. Her weight is back up to where it should for her age much better than last year. She has really improved health wise and passed her check up completely. The nurse will call me with the time for her kidney ultrasound. She got her flu shot today and instead of the regular crying as I expected she held her breath and turned sky blue. After picking her up really quick she snapped out of it and there was just a few tears. The tears were soon dried when the nurse returned with three Strawberry shortcake stickers. She had to show everyone all the way out the office her stickers.
Our next stop before home was the pharmacy to pick up the Valium for the boys dental work. They said it would be a half an hour. The dollar store was right next store so I took Jadzia over there to get a couple prizes with the spare change I had. She picked out a princess drink bottle and a little toy princess. A half an hour had passed so we headed back to the pharmacy and they still didn't have it ready so we waited and kept checking. We waited about an hour and half total. I was just about thinking Jadzia was going to tear the store apart from boredom when they called "Fullmer to Pharmacy at your convenience." I had the brief thought that my convience was well over an hour ago but decided to not vent my frustrations to the understaffed pharmacy workers.
We made it home in time for dinner. After dinner I worked with Ronan on his exercises and tried to focus on getting him to walk. He is very close but he has a confidence issue. He's fallen a few times and now he's nervous about attempting to take steps without holding my hand. I then found out Ronan was on a two month waiting list until he will be accepted for his waiver through a case agency. I find it funny how mixed I feel about something I've waited for since he was born. We are so close and I thought I would be more thrilled. I guess it's the next step that has me feeling anxious and almost sad. See the waiver is a very valuable tool it offers many resources for Ronan and it will always assure he has medical care no matter what circumstances we will not have to worry about Down Syndrome or all his other slew of health issues being deemed a preexisting condition if we ever need to switch insurance.
This will be a huge peace of mind knowing medically my boy will be taken care of. But there's just one thing that comes along with it that makes me feel like the worse mother in the world and is taking me to places I really don't want to go. Honestly it's hard to be honest about this and as I'm writing this I feel like smacking myself for considering this whole thing. He has to be deemed Intellectually disabled to get the waiver. They will test his IQ but that's not the only factor considered. His hearing delays may be enough for him to qualify. I really really do not want that label on my son especially since people will take one look at his face and assume it already. I want him to be seen as the Ronan who greets me every morning with a kiss and a smile, and the Ronan who is smart enough to figure hundreds of ways to get out of his physical therapy, and the Ronan who loves the color green and has a fascination with puppies. I want them to see my Ronan, the little boy with great strength and loves beyond what most people ever will.
So here goes the mom debate do I assure he's covered medically through the waiver and have the "experts" label my son or do I let my pride get in the way and miss out on a valuable resource that will allow my son the medical protection he truly needs. For this evaluation he has to meet with a psychologist who will ask me a series of questions as well as test him in various games, mainly watching him play. I've been told this psychologist that gives the evaluation is very quirky, that was the word used by the lady who gave me his number. She said "if his personality overwhelms you let me know and I'll try to find someone else". As odd as it may be I am now more intrigued than scared to meet this guy.
After all this rolling around in my head Isaac was nice enough to stay with the kids so I could try out the gym membership I had won. I went into the movie screen part of the gym. I walked on the treadmill and kept increasing the speed until I hit where I was content. I now think I found an outlet for stress. Being out and walking briskly on this treadmill the more I poured over all my worries and prayed I felt a lot of stress just fall off and I came home very happy and refreshed. I'm starting to realize I need to exercise more for the simple reason it helps me feel energized and keeps depression at bay.
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